A.M. Just spent my third glorious night at camp. I am so calm and at peace here. I think I will stay at camp all day today, and not go to town. I felt a little robbed yesterday, when my excursion was extended against my will with a very long line at the Goodwill. I needed a fork and a can opener, and I was using it for the dinner I just bought, so I felt obligated to remain in line and was anxious.
I will have tuna or sardines tonight with roasted shallot and fruit. I could, in fact, spend my last two days here without going to town, if I wanted.
It was more breezy yesterday, but the tall trees provided a wonderful shield, keeping my belongings safe and me very comfortable. I am so grateful.
Speaking of grateful…
1- I am grateful to be reminded that I am surrounded by the presence and energy of love, filled with it, and guided by it, for perfect love casts out all fear.
2- I am grateful for the new neighbor who moved in on the west side of me yesterday. I am comforted by his presence and enjoyed his guitar strumming.
3- I am grateful for the patience and space gifted me by those close to me, that love me, as I know that all avenues remain open to me when I return.
4- I am grateful for the sheer beauty of this place which has been so utterly soothing to my soul.
5- I am grateful for the gentle reminder to treat all life with respect, as the certain buggy creatures don’t seem like just pests, and certain other creatures need not fill me with fear.
6- I am grateful that I have experienced no caffeine nor alcohol withdrawal symptoms, and my mornings and evenings have been most pleasant.
7- I am grateful for the continued deer sightings and the opportunity provided by the internet to learn more about the messages she may be wanting to bring me.
8- I am grateful that I can look back over my life and see that I have been protected over and over again, as it helps me to trust in my future.
9- I am deeply grateful for the experience of the truly miraculous many times in my life. It makes me want to connect with the source of miracle.
10- I am grateful for the library and the many varied books available to me as it feeds my intellect, opens my mind, entertains me and challenges me to think.
I have so much to be grateful for. It’s hard to understand how I can so often fall prey to negative energy and thoughts. I want to embrace innocence and gentleness, like the lovely doe. “Whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are pure, if there is anything praiseworthy, think on these things.” I wish to learn truth and wisdom. and to share it.
A.M.2 A few fun notes:
* I tried to bring as little as possible. After all, I am not “glamping”. Mom kept piling things on me, insisting I would need them. She was right on many things, and I appreciate her showing her concern in such a loving, practical way. I did pick up a handful of items at the grocery and thrift store over the last three days – candles, a torch, a flashlight that cost me sixty-seven cents at Goodwill, a fork and a can opener when I decided on beans for dinner last night. Otherwise, I am making do with what I have, and in some cases less.
* I have worn the same two sets of clothes since I arrived on Monday, one for the heat of the day and one for the cool of the evening. (Although I did temporarily change into jeans and a t-shirt to go to town, as my white tank top was filthy.) Today I changed my bra and day wear, and I have selected what I will change into tonight with the weather. I have not worn underwear since I got here.
* I wash my socks, my feet and my armpits in the creek. I take the hidden path to a secluded spot away from the swimmers and pic-nickers. I sit and watch the bugs on the surface of the water and listen to the creek babbling its way by until my feet dry, so I can walk back to camp in my sandals.
* I bought cold brew tea and stir my honey into it using a good, sturdy stick just the right size.
* I have hardly heard my own voice since arriving.
* I can almost tell what time it is by where the sun is in the sky.
* I collect good pieces of firewood as I walk, and there is always plenty of it to be found.
* I discovered a farmer’s market where I bought fresh blueberries and plums. I will visit again before I leave on Saturday. I charged my phone at the public library while researching the spirit meaning of the deer and making plans to attend the DUI victims panel that is required of me.
* I use the actual restroom during the day, but at night I prefer to just drop drawers and go. I do choose a spot just outside camp.
* I miss hot liquid when it is chilly. I tried to heat my tea in the bean can I emptied last night.
* In addition to several deer I have seen, I heard howling from the mountains to the west of me on Tuesday night. It was eerie but powerful.
* I fill up my water jug each day at the picnic area, and I am grateful for this provision. Between Justice and I, we are drinking about a gallon each day.
* I like the way my feet and hair look dirty.
* When it gets too hot at camp, I leash Justice and we go for a walk in the woods. It is cool in the shade, the path is clear and not strenuous at all. Still, I find my legs sore today, ever so slightly.
* I am perfectly at peace with the choice I made, and I need to find better ways of expressing myself in the future before I hit my breaking point and snap.