7a I have woken up to another wonderful day on the mountain. I love being out here, and – I will say it again – I love who I am when I am out here. I feel sure and strong and safe (from my lower self) and so very alive and full of grace. This is who I want to be. This is who I really AM. How can I be this me always?
I know, first and foremost – no drinking. Second, I need to stop compromising who I am and what makes me happy for the sake of other people. That means reading when I need to read (which is, like, always), writing when I need to write, eating what I need to eat, sleeping when I need to sleep, being alone when I need to be alone, etc.
It’s only 50* in the car. I am so glad that I did not pitch my tent and attempt an outdoor camp in this weather. Maybe I will be able to tolerate it one day, but today is not that day. I am still such a cold weather wimp!
1p From Anatomy of the Spirit, the second chakra:
“The wisest relationship we can have with money is to see it as a substance that faith can attract into our lives. Putting faith before money reduces money from its status as a leader to that of servant, its more appropriate position. Faith that transcends money frees a person to follow his or her intuitive guidance without giving over unnecessary authority to financial concerns. Obviously, so long as we are part of the physical world, we must honor its codes of debt and payment and assume a commonsense relationship to money, but money deserves no more of our attention than that.”
“Agree with yourself to make yourself whole and balanced.”
“Each of us as an individual needs to explore our relationship to physical power. We need to learn how and when we are controlled by external power and, if so, the type of power to which we are most vulnerable.”
“For all of us, the challenge is not to become ‘power celibate’ but to achieve sufficient internal strength to interact comfortably with physical power without negotiating away our spirits.”
8p I performed a Driftwood Ritual in the fire pit tonight. It was intended to be a ritual that signified the end of my “drifting” [from Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill], and specifically in regards to my relationship with alcohol. As I completed the ritual, I started to say a prayer, but I realized it was a prayer of desperation, fear of failure, a begging God to save me, and not a prayer of faith at all.
How do I strengthen my faith, that I might pray effectively?