It makes absolute perfect sense. And it scares me.

September 24, 2016 ~ Saturday

8:30a Boredom is creeping in. I took up my book this morning on Native American healing, and I read the chapter on the Four Winds and what they represent and how they help. It should have been fascinating, but I felt fried. I have been jamming my brain for the last week plus, and I feel like I need a break.

I spent most of yesterday working on my business plan. I feel like I should flesh out more of it, but I don’t know if I can stay focused like that for another day. Yesterday was pretty intense.

I tried to plan some time with Ginger or Kandee, thinking maybe a social connection would be a good mixer, but both are busy today.

I have been awake since 3:30 this morning. I did some research on going to Florida to welcome and bless Grayson and family in December. I updated my bills and budget to know just how long I can float on my savings (the wedding next year notwithstanding). With minimum spending, I’ve got maybe six months before I am broke.

I also determined that it would be cheaper to drive to Florida than it would be to fly and rent a car for the month. And I do want to stay the whole month, spending Christmas with my growing family and new grandson.

1p So I have been diving into what it would mean to actually drive myself to Florida for Grayson in December, and back again. What route would I take? Where would I make my stopovers? How long would I stay? What would I do while there?

I ruled out both a Northern route departure and return, as the weather would be too much of a factor. Depending on particulars, the trip would be roughly 8300 miles and cost roughly $1200 in fuel, plus whatever driving I do in Florida during the month of December. I will budget $1500 to be safe.

I want to avoid lodging fees as much as possible, so that means friends, my car, or campgrounds – most of which could be closed for the season. But being it’s the south…

I would depart Spokane in mid-October, travel through CA, AZ, NM, OK, visiting family and friends. I fancy myself collecting family stories. It feels important to do so, somehow. Maybe to have history to pass on to Grayson?

I would journey the Trail of Tears for a week in early November, spend a week in VA, the Thanksgiving holiday week in Myrtle Beach, then head to FL to spend December and the holidays in the sun. 🙂 It makes absolute perfect sense. And it scares me.

The big question in my mind is – What is the point? Why do this? Just to save money? Was I not just complaining for the last two years that all of my vacation and all of my money get spent on family?!? Now I want to take these precious two months of solitude and stuff them full of family?? WHT? lol I seriously do not understand myself.

If I do this, I need it to be meaningful, and extension of the last six weeks, living up to my highest potential, living each day thoughtfully, making the most of them all.

How can I tie this to my business idea? How can sharing my story help others? What value might they find in hearing what I have to say? How can I leverage this experience to launch my brand? Is that really what I want to do? What happens to my privacy? So many questions.

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