So what if my whole future is at stake? I can still enjoy the journey.

September 26, 2016 ~ Monday

6a I am learning to manage this new energy flow. While not as physical and dynamic, feminine energy does exert itself, and I need replenishing. This was a surprising discovery.

I feel like this is taking too long, and I need help! I need a builder. I can’t be doing all of the technical work. It takes too much of my time and energy. I tried to make one blog post yesterday. Just one. Four hours later, I can’t even find the About Me page on the menu!

I feel like the best thing I can do for myself right now is to relax and be happy. So what if my whole future is at stake? I can still enjoy the journey.

I need to start identifying people who can help me. I need a designer and an assistant. I need a launch plan and budget.

The feelings I am feeling are strange. This is what I have always wanted. A chance to be alone; spend my time reading, writing and ruminating; enjoy the solitude, space and quiet. I have been in this place for nearly two weeks now, and it doesn’t feel like I had imagined it would. I feel edgy, nervous, angry. Why would I feel angry? I guess because the process is just taking too long.

[2019: How might I have felt if I had known the process would actually take the next two years of my life, and that another year would be required to process all that I would learn along the way? I believe I would have been infuriated! One of the strongest lessons I have learned is surrender to and patience with the process. Anticipation has become an aphrodisiac.]

I am also having a challenge with the writing itself. Staying focused, not wandering from the point, strong composition… I feel like I am in fourth grade again! I really need a teacher or a peer panel. I need feedback and guidance. I want to be good at my craft.

I think maybe the way to begin is just to do what I know and enjoy. I know Facebook. I know email newsletter. Should I use Constant Contact or MailChimp? Gina DeVee uses Infusionsoft?

I just perused a site with profiles and reviews of MANY email marketing software companies, and it looks like MailChimp is a smart, free way to start!

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