7:45a Morning Pages ~ Carnegie, OK
The house is quiet. Angie, Randy and Maylina have left for work and school. I will lock up on my way out. Angie has been wonderful, as has the rest of my family.
I had thought about heading out last night. I finished my laundry and packed up the car. But by the time I did all of that, it was going on dusk. The particular campsite I had chosen was described as easy to miss, and I didn’t want to have to find it in the dark.
So I decided to stay, and I opened a bottle of wine to enjoy while waiting for my hosts to return from the birthday party they had gone to.
I heard a knock at the door, and I know to answer it in a place like this, even though it is not my home. It was my Aunt Iverna. She said she wanted to catch me before I left and put fifty dollars into my hand in small bills. I was so touched! She said it wasn’t much, just a little something to help me out, and that I needed to be careful. It meant a ton to me.
I sipped my wine and snacked on dried peas until Angie came home. I had a can of chicken noodle soup. Edward called after he closed the tasting room, and we chatted for a spell.
I made arrangements to head north instead of south, to visit with my family in Iowa. I can see Julianne in January instead. It felt important to see my family at this time. Bonus – I will also get to meet a cousin I never knew I had in Kansas.
Angie told me about Red Rock Canyon, so I will do some hiking there today before taking the scenic route into Oklahoma City. My cousin Valerie told me about the scenic drive between Binger and OKC. I am looking forward to it. If I arrive early enough, I will stop to see my cousin Kirby before going on the visit with Teresa.
So this stretch of my trip is filled with family. It is amazing and wonderful that they are all so very kind and gracious, even though I haven’t seen them in years, and we weren’t all that close to begin with. Angie even wanted to keep the empty wine bottle we shared.
Well, I had most of it. and I finished the bottle I opened last night too, all by myself. Obviously I have not changed my relationship to alcohol that dramatically. I obviously still have abuse issues, and I need to stop. It is Monday, and I can call this a fresh beginning. I will be pretty well stacked up with travel for the next week, and I want to feel good and keep my head about me. Mostly, I just want to enjoy being sober. That was one of my main goals for this trip.
I might even get to visit the Creation Museum in Kentucky. I was a charter donor to the museum, and I have yet to make a visit. It will be interesting to see the exhibits and hear the evidence presented for a young earth. My own thoughts on this subject could use some clarity.
I am anxious to get on the road, but I also want to finish my morning pages. If I am to be a writer, I need to make a serious commitment to the craft – and to myself. So many people have suggested a write a book about Edward and I, a book about this journey. So many people believe in me, and believe I have talent. I am starting to believe in myself. But I don’t know how to start. I don’t know the first thing about writing a book. It’s all I can do now to write three pages of streaming thoughts each morning.
Perhaps I should drag out The Artist’s Way book and begin it again. This can be my first week, ending on Wednesday. I have already read the material and have done a couple of the exercises. I can just pick up where I left off. If I want this to be my future, if I want to change my life, it all starts right here, right now. “I believe that I have the ability to achieve the object of my definite purpose in life.” I can do this. I will do this.
I have a few things left to load in the car. Then I will say goodbye to Grandma’s house again. It has been nice to spend time here, feeling her loving memory. Angie has done a good job at taking care of her house. She has done a hymnal wall and paper bag floors. It’s a cute little shanty, and I love it. Oh so many memories were made here in this house as I was a little girl. Here is where I got to eat Honeycomb cereal. 🙂