8:15a Morning Pages ~ Mount Pleasant, SC
I explored around Charleston yesterday. Took a 6.5 mile walk through Laurel Hill trails in the county park. It was overcast and muggy, but pretty with the dirt path covered in fallen leaves. I had lunch and an IPA flight at Holy City brewery, as Outback did not open until 4p.
I drove around downtown Charleston – saw the market, the park, the French Quarter and shopping districts. I meandered through Sullivan’s Island and saw the beach at Isle of Palms. Charleston proper reminds me of RVA – cramped and run down, albeit historic. It would be a nice place to visit, but I would not want to live there.
Mount Pleasant, on the other hand, was totally cute – reminded me of Vero. I could see myself here. Returned for a cup of coffee before continuing south today.
The idea was that I could check out Savannah, Jacksonville, and even St. Augustine. All might be viable options for me. The problem is, the farther I travel south, the farther I am from Richmond. If I go too far, I run the risk of Edward not being up for joining me.
The question is whether I make this decision for me or for him?
To be honest, I have not fallen in love with Charleston. I would only move here as a compromise, to be near my heartstrings, and that doesn’t feel right.
It’s hard not to be anxious to make a decision. I am ready to know where I belong and how I will be able to support myself. But I also feel that until I hold that baby and spend some time in Florida with the family, I just can’t know how I will be affected and what I will really want. Maybe I will not want to be close, or maybe I will want to be right next door. My feelings for Edward are still widely varied too. I know the wise thing is to take the extra time. I will know what to do when the time is right, and not before.
I also need to choose abstinence this month. I had thought I would stay sober my entire walkabout, but I made other choices. With this being such a critical life decision, I feel like I need to trust myself with a clear head. The decision will affect many people – and the next few years of my life. I want to be sure I am thinking and feeling clearly. That is what my gut says.
I have deeply enjoyed these last six weeks, and I allowed myself a good balance of indulgence and self-discipline. Now it is time to return to bliss – the bliss of knowing I am doing the best thing for me.
The last several years have kept me so busy over the holidays, I had no time for reflection and for introspection. This year is different. I have all the time I can handle, and I want – more than anything – to spend it on myself productively.
I am incredibly excited about spending the Christmas season sober; reading, writing and ruminating. I am going to trust God to use the universe for my benefit. He will move heaven and earth to bring me all of the resources I need. I will meet the right people. I will read the right information. I will walk the right path. I will discern the right energy. I will allow the joy of this season to fill me and change me. I AM the new me. The dream me is filling the inner spaces of my universe. I am being filled with light and love and promise.
I want to think through my Christmas gifts for this year. I have been given so much, and God keeps pouring out his blessings over me. There is no need to be selfish, stingy or hoarding. I want His blessing to flow through me and spread His joy to others. I want to be thoughtful and meaningful with how I use my resources. I know I want the Cooks magazine subscription for Pop. He will enjoy it immensely.
When I finish writing these morning pages (hurry up! lol) I will roll through my bills and budget. That way I know exactly where I stand. I will go to the library to do this, and keep my coffee shop only to my pleasure. I have my free refill before me, nearly at prime sipping temperature. Let my joy and love be unleashed!
8p Pisgah National Forest ~ near Asheville, NC
I stopped at the Visitor’s Center just over the North Carolina border and picked up some materials to browse on the Asheville area tonight. I think I am in love already! The local scene seems so amazing, with a year-round farmers market, a lively arts and music appreciation, and plenty of outdoor recreation. It honestly has everything I could have scripted for myself.
TravelChannel.com named it as one of the Top 5 Pet Friendly Cities in the US. I feel like I could spend the next week here and not ever get bored.
I feel like it is actually calling my name. On drive in, I was a road sign that said “Tryon Asheville” lol. 🙂
I can feel this ball of electric excitement willing up and whirling inside me, and my heart is actually smiling!, much like when I discovered Spokane and all of its promise for me. I already know that entering Asheville tomorrow will be like homecoming, and I will feel like the queen. The goddess, rather. I could live my inner artist here, like in Spokane. I could let me writer out of the closet.
My reflectix insulation/window shades are coming in handy, with nearby campers to the left and front, and temperatures dropping to 29* tonight. I am well prepared with my slippers and beenie and layers, and my sleeping bag is already shoved inside Edward’s. This is much better than the muggy, buggy of the last two nights!
I can hardly believe I just said that.