4p Morning Pages ~ Blue Cypress Lake, FL
Got a call from Cam late last night. He needed a ride to work. I needed to wrap gifts and visit the Post Office, plus I had already told Julia I would stop by and catch up the dishes today (I cooked dinner for the kids again last night), so it all worked out as a win-win for us.
On a side note, Justice rolled herself in something seriously FOUL this morning at camp, so I also needed to bathe her something fierce. It’s the first bath she has had in years – since that muddy hike in Woodinville. She’s just awesome like that.
I called Mom this afternoon to let her know that her Christmas package was on its way, since the office doesn’t always alert her to arriving packages. We started talking about our new lives in Asheville. I flew the idea of my staying in January. She responded with an idea to give our notice to buy out the lease in January. It would only save us a month and a half of expenses, but it would save us a month and a half of expenses, plust not paying for utilities and internet service. It really does make sense.
So this is getting serious. I am looking at the very real likelihood of camping in the winter in Asheville, while trying to find a means to support myself – and start writing my book. Oh and go back to school. Let’s not forget that!
What will I do with Justice? Will she be okay in the car while I am doing whatever it is I am doing? How will I bathe and stay presentable? Do I have to get a job?
I need a plan. I need a strategy. And I need to start thinking about it asap. In two weeks it will be January 2nd. Edward will be meeting me in Asheville on Thursday, December 29th, so there will not be much accomplished over those four days, except being a couple and celebrating the fact that we are indeed still together.
I keep thinking that I need to take this more seriously, but I also have this insanely sure feeling – instinct – that the right move will show itself at the right time, and not before. All I am called to do right now is rest, be present, and enjoy the gift I have been given.
I am in a beautiful campsite. I am lulled by the lapping water. I have ample room and food in my tent. I have gifts for the most precious people in my life. I have cheap Pinot Grigio. I hear birds chirping. I can take a warm shower after my run tomorrow. The scale at Publix says I am still only 134 lbs – hallelujah! I have water and a restroom and a pup who loves her mama. I am doing what many people dream of their whole lives – again.
It’s pointless thinking about Asheville until I get there. Honestly – what can I accomplish from here? The best thing I can do for myself is to stay responsible. Get that oil change. Take care of the tires. Renew my tabs. Pay my toll. See my friends. Determine where to stay until Christmas. Keep my tent in good condition. (I wish I could figure out the trick to the condensation rain.)
I think I will head north straight away after Christmas. I need to get situated and start scouting out my options. And I need to balance my books.
I am really making a mess of myself. But I don’t know why I am trying to protect these clothes anyway. I have been in them since Saturday. I won’t be trying to eek out another day. It’s different in Florida. I sweat. And things go sour much more rapidly.
I finished the first book my cousin Kathee gave me, Between a Rock and a Hard Place. I loved it. I am trying to think of who I might pass it on to. Seems like that would be the right thing to do. Maybe I will float the offer on Facebook – see if I have any takers. I think I will read The Crucible next. It is rather small, and it’s a classic. I need to lighten my load anyway.
Looks like it will be an early night for me. I am half way through the Grigio, and Edward says he will call around 7p. The sun is setting. I will have to retreat into my tent soon to avoid the mosquitoes and make use of my lantern.
I thought about getting a string of garland for my tent, but it feels like a waste of money. At the same time, it feels like joy, like a little holiday spirit, and I have never, ever regretted spending my money on a little holiday spirit. Tomorrow I will ask if I can stay here through Christmas. If the answer is yes, then I will splurge a little and decorate the tent.
The bugs are already eating at me. I’m going to head into the tent and set myself up for another wonderful solitary walkabout evening.